Why do people go on vacation in the first place? The Latin root “vacare” means “to be unoccupied.” Yet, we constantly go on trips where all we do is worry about stuff. You worry about your passport, your luggage, your wallet and — sometimes most of all — where you’re going to take your next shower.
It’s time that we took a vacation from our vacations. Next time you go out, go dirty. It doesn’t matter what kind of dirt you wind up smearing all over yourself — ice, rocks, actual mud and even the glistening sea salt of the ocean can get you dirty enough.
These are by far the easiest choice for thoroughly soiling everything you’ve ever owned or loved. You don’t even need to try to get dirty — simply stand next to someone who’s been there for a few days, and it’ll happen.
The glistening corals and aquatic life of the Pacific Ocean aren’t only great for those who love the sea. The wonders of the ocean are also a bonus for those who’d like to take a giant bath for a few weeks. Instead of going coastal right away, go inland and hike the Philippine mountains. Walk through Central Luzon, MIMAROPA or Southern Tagalog and get gross before hopping in the ocean.
A proud Southern and Midwestern tradition is running cars through mud for no real reason. You can rent a truck at a variety of muddin’ locations and drive the thing through huge reserves. See how well you can handle something that travels off road and into all the mud and dirt you could want.
Hit the Alaskan backcountry
You don’t need to stay warm during your vacation if you want a truly gritty experience. In the Alaskan wilderness you can watch the stars, count your rations and build fires so you don’t freeze to death. Sounds fun, huh?
Anyone who thinks that taking a raft through rapids won’t get you dirty hasn’t tried this yet. Expect to fall out of your boat, run into rocks and walk along nature trails during parts of your trek. Remember to hold on to your oars.