How to Cope with Your Busted Bracket

Picking that underrated seed to go to the national championship probably seemed like a great idea until they lost. It happens — your  odds of perfection were 1 in 9 trillion from the get-go.

We get it. You’re pissed off, but your friends don’t want to listen to you whine. Try doing one of these things instead:

Join the professional arm-wrestling circuit
If you just can’t stop sobbing about your bracket, release some of your stress by curling heavy objects until you’re swoll. Before you know it, you’ll be facing off against Joe the Cannon at regionals.

Take up canning
When March Madness rolls around next year, you’ll be ready to make some awesome PB&Js with all the homemade boysenberry jam you made for you and your friends. Feeling fancy? Try tackling marmalade!

Write the next great American novel
If Jonathan Franzen can do it, why can’t you? Here’s a tip: Don’t write a sad story about someone filling out a March Madness bracket. What sort of plot revolves around childish optimism and falling into a pit of despair as it all falls apart?

Become best buds with Justin Bieber
The loss of your bracket has probably brought you to a crossroads, much like the Biebs after getting roasted. The two of you can talk about how things will be different next year, and maybe even collaborate on a multi-platinum album.

Maybe watch basketball?
Of course, you always could just pop a squat on the couch and enjoy the rest of March Madness with your friends. Sure, that $5 you anted up to win your bracket league would’ve been better invested in pizza, but there’s still the glory of the game.