How to Watch NASCAR Like a True ‘Murican

nascar

Few things are more American than NASCAR — and most of those other things are deep-fried. There’s a reason so many people love this fast and furious sport (just watch Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby or pick up a package of Hot Wheels for further proof), but many ‘Muricans aren’t on the bandwagon.

We get it. At first glance, it looks like a bunch of cars going around in circles. Sure, that’s technically what’s happening. NASCAR is about a whole lot more, though — and we feel it helps to get into character before you watch. Here’s how:

Pick up KFC, Taco Bell and McDonald’s — all at the same time

Ricky Bobby knew a thing or two about being ‘Murican, which is why his dinner table is filled with the fast food trifecta. If these fine establishments aren’t your jam, you might try hot dogs, fried Oreos and bacon-wrapped pizza.

Stock the fridge with nothing but Natty Light and Budweiser

Next on the list of ‘Murican staples is a pilsner you can purchase in economy-sized packs. When you’re done with a can, be sure to crush it against your forehead.

Turn it into a drinking game

Watching cars spinning ’round and ’round the track is exhilarating at first, but the constant left turns can be dull for those new to NASCAR. To alleviate this potential (and fleeting) boredom, employ all that Natty Light in a drinking game. No, we’re not suggesting that you drink every time the car turns left. Leave reckless abandonment to the drivers.

Make all-or-nothing bets on who will win first place

Because if you’re not first, you’re last.

Bring your pet bald eagle

Every watching party needs a mascot, and what pairs better with NASCAR than a bald eagle (OK, other than race cars)?

If watching NASCAR like a true ‘Murican doesn’t get you jazzed for this immensely popular U.S. sport, we don’t know what will.