The Bachelorette Premieres

The Bachelorette Returns on ABC - Episode Recap & Reactions

Fantasy League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

The thirteenth season of The Bachelorette started last night, and it was next level stuff. Rachel Lindsay met her 30 suitors and was extremely forgiving as they tried very hard to make an impression. The Dallas lawyer and sports fan is maybe the most likable person in the history of reality television. She is decidedly sassy—yet classy.

As for the men? There was Blake E., an aspiring drummer. (Sad.) We met Jonathan, who actually calls himself a “tickle monster.” (Weird.) Adam showed up with Adam Jr., his puppet. (Creepy.) Lucas shook his head a lot and yelled “whaboom,” to everyone’s annoyance. (Ugh.) And there was a guy in a penguin costume. He actually seemed normal by comparison.

The coveted first impression rose SPOILER ALERT!! went to Bryan, a chiropractor who has a masterful and seductive command of the Spanish language. He promised “trouble,” and Rachel took him up on it. They made out copiously. Did he mean “trouble” in the sense of a monogamous LTR though? Maybe! But we’re skeptical. We’re partial to Josiah, tbh.

The season is just getting started, and fans aren’t totally sold on Rachel’s options. In fact, we’re worried that Rachel will make a horrible mistake. She just seems so nice, it would be a shame to see her wind up with the wrong person. Fingers crossed!

If you haven’t seen the episode, you can watch it on PrimeTime Anytime. It automatically records primetime shows on networks like ABC and stores them on your Hopper 3 DVR for 8 days. And if you need to watch The Bachelorette, you need to know what people are saying about it. Here is what Twitter had to say.

Bryan is hot

Rachel’s dog, tho

There’s something about Adam Jr.

Dad thoughts

Go away, Whaboom

Tune in Mondays at 9 p.m. on ABC to watch The Bachelorette live.