There are countless tips out there for manscaping the perfectly coifed beard, but that undermines the whole point of the playoff beard. These beards should be almost savage, reminiscent of a time when dinosaurs roamed the earth and when “Vitamin E moisturizer” or “razor burn” didn’t exist. Picture a Viking — that’s a true hockey beard. (Hey, just be glad you don’t have to lose any teeth.)
The premise of the hockey beard is simple: A team enters the playoffs and doesn’t shave until it is eliminated. That’s all you have to do. Nailing your hockey beard isn’t so much about your facial hair as it is your mindset. Here’s how you really grow one:
Embrace your face
Some men can grow a beard akin to Gandalf’s, while other men struggle with density and bald patches. Never fear: It’s not the immensity of your beard that matters; it’s your dedication to it. However your facial hair grows in, embrace it wholeheartedly — and apologize to no one.
Pick the correct hat
No hockey beard is complete without the right accessories, so choose yours wisely. Consider a Viking helmet to really encapsulate the spirit behind the season. A hat of your favorite hockey team would do, though.
More often than not, it’s not that a man has trouble growing a beard. It’s that some big event crumbles his resolve and he shaves the whole thing off. So you’re getting married next week? If your wife loves you, she’ll understand your devotion. Instead of shaving off all your hard work, consider a hockey-themed wedding. How awesome would it be to skate down the aisle?
The only way you can fail at growing a hockey beard? By giving in. When you give your hockey beard your all (no matter which obstacles present themselves), you’ve truly succeeded.