Moving is the most thrilling and terrifying task a person can undertake. There’s the initial excitement of having a totally new place. A new neighborhood, hot neighbors (please?) and Pinterest-inspired decor are enough to get us excited about our next move. The actual logistics aren’t exactly as glamorous as we planned, though. In truth — well, moving kind of sucks.
Expectation: You’ll pack everything ahead of time.
Reality: You put off collecting those free boxes from Walmart day after day, constantly repeating the mantra “I don’t even have that much stuff.” The morning of your move is a blur, and you find yourself shoving your possessions haphazardly into weird containers before peeling away in your moving van. You can pack the dishes in an extra suitcase, right?
Expectation: All your friends will help you.
Reality: Your friends are all mysteriously “busy” the day of your move with obscure tasks such as attending their second cousin’s daughter’s dance recital. Actually, even your parents won’t even help you. You may want to prepare with a rigorous workout routine.
Expectation: You can totally drive a U-Haul.
Reality: Even the moving vans that look small are massive, and you’re going to feel like you’re driving an 18-wheeler. Normal roads look like sidewalks from the driver’s seat, and you spend the entirety of the drive fearing you’re accidentally going to mow over the Miata in front of you.
Expectation: Putting together all your new furniture will be easy.
Reality: Assembling furniture is more difficult than solving a Rubik’s Cube, and the directions might as well be in Swedish. (If you bought your stuff from IKEA, the instructions might actually be in Swedish.)
Expectation: You’re going to be best friends with all your neighbors.
Reality: You still won’t know anything about your neighbors six months in — except that they love opera and late-night tap dancing, of course.
Expectation: Everything will be unpacked and organized within the week.
Reality: Your stuff will stay in boxes for the first month — until you decide to dump everything on the floor in random piles.
The good news? Your new place doesn’t have to be perfect to feel like home. All you need is a place where you can curl up on the couch, order a large pizza and watch a judgment-free Dance Moms marathon.